It's official: I am a sad and lonely little girl

Another of my close friends just told me she is officially engaged. She is having her wedding in June. This makes her the third girl friend of mine to be engaged and planning a wedding. Actually, if I want to get technical, she is the fifth friend (two of the grooms-to-be are also good friends of mine) to be engaged within the last year or so. And at least one other couple among my friends is pretty serious.

As it is, I am going to be in three weddings in the next two summers.

Me = never had a boyfriend. Hell, I've never even been on a date.

Is it any wonder that I feel like a supreme loser? All three of my best female friends are getting married/ planning weddings, etc... and what do I have?

My only consolation lies in the fact that my best male friend is also single and lonely. It makes me feel a little less like a loser - or it would if I failed to take into account that he has had many girlfriends in the past. Allow me to remind you how many boyfriends I have had:

Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nyet. Kein.

And YES, I AM HAVING A PITY PARTY. Please, let me whine. You may only yell at me for being self-pitying if you are in the same siuation as me - otherwise, your arguments are null and void.

What the hell is wrong with me? I ask myself this question every day and I cannot answer it - well, face it, I don't want to find an answer. I wish I had the self-confidence to be happy and single for as long as I needed, but I simply don't. If I wanted to be honest with myself, I would admit that I derive my self-image from other people and their opinions more than I ever listen to myself. Being single like this is not only very lonely, it is also devasating to my ego. And perhaps that is part of the problem.

Perhaps if I start growing a backbone the boys will start liking me?